1: My Point of View
Hi, and welcome to my first post on Ex Tenebris. For those of you who might not know me my name is Nolan L Melonson II. Like most people, I am many things, but it is just easier to say that I am a writer who is interested in almost everything.
A short example of what makes me who I am is reflected in what I am interested in, and that goes a little something like this: I am an autodidact who constantly researches subjects like technology, religion, genetics, philosophy, biotechnology, mythology, computer science, demonology, history, the occult, and tactics of all kinds.
This shortlist is only part of what I consider my personal education. I am driven to learn as much as I can simply because in the end no matter how smart I believe myself to be, I know that I know nothing when compared to what has yet to be understood. The only thing that I can think to do with my self-imposed education is to apply my imagination to it and write.
Now that you made it past the first few paragraphs this and every other post of Ex Tenebris will have something to do with my life experiences, thoughts, ideas, and maybe even reviews about things that interest me. These topics may go along with the stories I am writing or they just might highlight what is going on in my head at any given time.
That being said, I am doing this for myself. I think that the act of writing something that is not fiction helps me maintain a balance between creativity and critical thinking. I ask you to look at each post as a diary or journal entry; even though I more than likely will be speaking directly to you at times.
For now, nothing I post here is going to be strictly outlined or edited, so for your sake, I hope I stay on topic and keep my grammar mistakes to a minim. The plan is to make what I write here as genuine and as expressive as possible. I think that storytelling should have a structure, but when it comes to topics of thought, one must have the freedom to explore them.
What is the name all about?
For people who are familiar with Latin, you might already know what ex tenebris means, but if you are like me and have a huge problem learning other languages or Latin just is not the language you know the meaning goes something like this. The translation of ex tenebris is “out of darkness or from darkness”. I chose this phrase because no matter which way you translate it darkness is where everything begins.
Regardless of if you believe in Creation or The Big Bang Theory, darkness was at the heart of them both. When we were in our mother’s womb, we are wrapped in darkness only to be born into the light. Every time we close our eyes to go to sleep darkness is the prelude to our dreams. Right now, as you read this, your thoughts and ideas start in a place that the sun cannot touch, and it is not until you write, draw, or speak them that they come to light.
When I started third grade, I realized that it was easier for me to see bright letters on a dark background. This particular contrast helps me to focus on what is to me illumined letters and allowed me to read with ease. At that point in my life, I thought that it was something universal, and wondered why everyone around me did not do things the same way.
Later in life, when I was older and perhaps wiser, I noticed that my personal preferences were indeed personal, and everyone had their own perspective that made things different for them. This newly found fraction of understanding caused me to start thinking about how I see the world around me, and what it all meant in the grand scheme of things.
I am not ashamed to admit that it was not until I reached twenty-something that a thought came to me. I was reading Horatio Hornblower at the time, and while experiencing C. S. Forester’s tales of the life of a man in England’s Navy, I began to think of how they navigated by the stars at night which led me back to the way that I like to view things. I started to think about how those glowing letters on my screen helped me read and how the stars had to shine in the middle of the ocean for people on ships to see them.
This is what my mind came up with: Darkness is a metaphor for not knowing or being lost, and until we find a source of light to revile where we are or what lies ahead all we are is adrift in a sea where the fear of what might be out there controls our actions.
I know, not the most profound thing to think about and there are a few leaps in logic to it all, but you have to admit that fear does hold most people back as well as playing a role in how we see the world around us.
In prehistoric times fire was the method that people used to keep the darkness and the things we feared in it at bay. This extremely useful tool worked for thousands of years. That same concept is still around; all you have to do is turn on the flashlight feature on your cell phone.
The modern world is filled with light, but I think there are things you can only learn by standing in the dark. If you have never experienced being in a place where there was not enough light to see by, I invite you to try it at least once. Your other senses do compensate by providing you with details that you normally would ignore, and at the same time your mind starts to generate provable reasons to fill in what may or may not be there.
The speed at which your brain can come up with reasons for what you are experiencing while not being able to see your surroundings is impressive. Most people will only be aware of a few of these thoughts; this is due to the way our mind filters information and can reflect the emotional state of the person standing in the dark.
How you react to being in the dark can speak volumes about your state of mind, but what is important to me is when a source of light is applied. For me, this is when that moment of discovery begins, and I start to learn how that particular light affects the world around it.
A better example is to think of the night sky filled with stars and planets. Just the simple observation of the way these objects within our galaxy move from our perspective on Earth has led to numerous theories that have inspired the imagination as well as provided subjects that people around the world still study. This is just a single example of how the world we live in would not be what it is if there were not those among us who chose to venture into the dark to see what they could learn.
All this talk about darkness might lead you to believe that I am obsessed with the topic; that my soul is black or that my aura has no glow, and that I am just trying to justify a lack of something that everyone else seems to get naturally. If that is what you have concluded, perhaps you are right, but I see the color of my metaphysical self as more of an ultraviolet hue.
My soul shines with black light, its rays are unseen and can illuminate things that are pleasant to see as well as things that you rather not know were there. To me, seeing things as what they are is the first step in understanding, and when you can understand something, the fear of it is replaced with knowledge.
This is all about one guy’s life and how he experiences the world around him. The things I write here may be filled with leaps in logic, obscure references, numerous lists, and roaming thoughts, and the only excuse I have for it is that this is how my mind operates.
I am someone who is comfortable standing in the dark; it is the one place where all things begin and end; it is the moment where imagination and reality exist side by side without conflict, and it is the way in which I explore life. Until next time, I am Nolan Ex Tenebris.
